Sherarelyughed.ButovertieAranskythoughthenoticedasofteningofherattitude.Shehadadrysenseofhuourutitildly,whichcouldproptacrooked,ironicsile.
Aranskyfeltsoprovokedbyherckofeotionalresponsethatsoetieshewantedtograbholdofherandshakeher.Toforcehiswayintohershelndwinherfriendship,oratleastherrespect.
Onlyonce,aftershehadbeenworkingforhifoineonths,hadhetriedtodiscussthesefeelingswithher.ItwasatMiltonSecuritysChristaspartyoneeveninginDeceber,andforoncehewasnotsober.Nothinginappropriatehadhappenedhehadjusttriedtotellherthatheactuallylikedher.Mostofallhewantedtoexpinthathefeltprotectivetowardsher,andifsheeveeededheithanything,sheshouldnothesitatetoetohi.Hehadeventriedtogiveherahug.Allinfriendliness,ofcourse.
Shehadwriggledoutofhisclusyebraceandlefttheparty.Afterthatshehadnotappearedattheofficeoransweredherobile.Herabsencehadfeltliketorturealostaforofpersonalpunishent.Hehadnobodytodiscusshisfeelingswith,andforthefirsttieherealisedwithappallingcritywhatadestructiveholdshehadoverhi.
Threeweekster,whenAranskywasworkingteoneeveninggoingovertheyearendkeeping,Sanderreappeared.Shecaeintohisofficeassilentlyasaghost,andhebecaeawarethatshewasstandingintheshadowsinsidethedoorway,watchinghi.Hehadnoideahowlongshehadbeenthere.
“Wouldyoulikesoecoffee”sheasked.Shehandedhiacupfrotheespressoachineinthecanteen.Mutelyheaeptedit,feelingbothreliefandterrorwhensheshovedthedoorclosedwithherfoot.Shesatdownoppositehisdeskandlookedhistraightintheeye.Thensheaskedthequestioninawaythatcouldneitherbeughedoffnoravoided.
“Dragan,areyouattractedtoe”
Aranskysatasifparalysed,whiledesperatelywonderinghowtoanswer.Hisfirstipulsewaretendtobeinsulted.Thenhesawherexpressionanditcaetohithatthiswasthefirsttieshehadeverutteredanysuchpersonalquestion.Itwasseriouslyeant,andifhetriedtoughitoffshewouldtakeitasanaffront.Shewantedtotalktohi,andhewonderedhowlongithadtakenhertogetupthecouragetoaskthatquestion.Heslowlyputdownhispenandleanedbackinhischair.Finallyherexed.
“Whatakesyouthinkthat”hesaid.
“Thewayyoulookate,andthewayyoudontlookate.Andthetiesyouwereabouttoreachoutyourhandandtouchebutpedyourself.”
Hesiledather.“IreckonyoudbiteoffyhandifIidafingeronyou.”
Shedidnotsile.Shewaswaiting.
“Lisbeth,Iyourboss,andevenifIwereattractedtoyou,Idneveractonit.”
Shewasstillwaiting.
“Betweenusyes,therehavebeentieswhenIhavefeltattractedtoyou.Icantexpinit,butthatsthewayitis.ForsoereasonIdontreallyunderstand,Ilikeyoualot.Butitsnotaphysicalthing.”
“Thatsgood.Becauseitllneverhappen.”
Aranskyughed.Thefirsttieshehadsaidsoethingpersonanditwastheostdishearteningnewsaancouldiaginereceiving.Hestruggledtofindtherightwords.
“Lisbeth,Iunderstandthatyourenotinterestedinanoldanoffiftyplus.”
“Inotinterestedinanoldanoffiftypluswhosyboss.”Sheheldupahand.“Wait,letespeak.Youresoetiesstupidandaddeninglybureaucratic,butyoureactuallyanattractivean,andIcanalsofeelButyoureybossandIveetyourwifeandIwanttokeepyjobwithyou,andtheostidioticthingIcoulddoisgetinvolvedwithyou.”
Aranskysaidnothing,hardlydaringtobreathe.
“Iawareofwhatyouvedonefore,andInotungrateful.Iappreciatethatyouactuallyshowedyourselftobegreaterthanyourprejudicesandhavegiveneachancehere.ButIdontwantyouforylover,andyourenotyfather.”
AfterawhileAranskysighedhelplessly.“Whatexactlydoyouwantfroe”
“Iwanttocontinueworkingforyou.IfthatsOKwithyou.”
Henoddedandthenansweredherashonestlyashecould.“Ireallydowantyoutoworkfore.ButIalsowantyoutofeelsoesortoffriendshipandtrustine.”
Shenodded.
“Yourenotapersonwhoencouragesfriendship,”hesaid.Sheseeedtowithdraw,buthewenton.“Iunderstandthatyoudontwantanyoneinterferinginyourlife,andIlltrynottodothat.ButisitallrightifIcontinuetolikeyou”
Sanderthoughtaboutitforalongtie.Thensherepliedbygettingup,walkingaroundthedesk,andgivinghiahug.Hewastotallyshocked.Onlywhenshereleasedhididhetakeherhand.
“Wecanbefriends”
Shenoddedonce.
Thatwastheonlytiesheevershowedhianytendeess,andtheonlytiesheevertouchedhi.ItwasaoentthatAranskyfondlyreebered.
AfterfouryearsshehadstillvouchsafedhardlyadetaiboutherprivatelifeorherbackgroundtoAransky.Onceheappliedhisownknowledgeofthepindersartonher.HealsohadalongtalkwithHolgerPalgrenwhodidnotseesurprisedtoseehiandwhathefinallyfoundoutdidnotincreasehistrustinher.Heneverentionedawordaboutthistoherorletherknowthathehadbeensnoopingintoherlife.Insteadhehidhisuneasinessandincreasedhiswatchfulness.
Beforethatstrangeeveningwasover,AranskyandSanderhadetoanagreeent.Infutureshewoulddoresearchprojectsforhionafreencebasis.Shewouldreceiveasallonthlyinewhethershedidanyassignentsoot.Therealoneywouldbeadewhenshewaspaidperassignent.Shecouldworkthewayshewantedto；inretushepledgednevertodoanythingthatightebarrasshiorrisksubjectingMiltonSecuritytoscandal.
ForAranskythiswasasolutionthatwasadvantageoustohi,thepany,andSanderherself.HecutthetroublesoePIdepartentdowntoasinglefulltieeployee,anoldercolleaguewhohandledroutinejobsperfectlywelndrancreditchecks.AllplicatedortrickyassignentshetuedovertoSanderandafewotherfreencerswhointhestresortwereindependentcontractorsforwhoMiltonSecurityhadactuallynoresponsibility.Sinceheregurlyengagedherservices,sheeaedagoodsary.Itcou船说